Women's 2nd Team Vs Truro 2

Regular readers of the Ladies 2s match report will be aware that for the past two seasons, I have been stitched up and double crossed by my on pitch nemesis Helen “Psycho” Biggs.  Last season, Helen got herself run over by her daughter, lumberjack tackled half of Trelawney 2, spent 7% of her pitch time rolling around getting injured and packed her mobile device in her sports bra but still it was I, who got donkey.  However, the past two seasons, I have hand plucked one of my off-spring to be part of my revenge and for three hours after tea, Izzy has been locked in the garage with Helen’s face on a dart board, working on endurance and performance for the day, when she was able to compete for Helen’s position.  Izzy turned 13 yesterday, so today was the day!

The starting lineup for today’s game against Truro had more changes to it, then the front bench of the Government’s (political reference).  With midfield dynamos Scarlet, missing in action and Steph getting a call up to the 1s, we needed some young blood, as we had too many OAPs (Old Assed Players) on the pitch, so up from the badgers came Izzy the Avenger, Kristina and Sky - plus Beth for her debut.

We started strong and within a few minutes, Founding Father Maysie scored but not long after, they pulled it back to 1-1.  It turned out to be their one and only shot on goal, as although they did see a fair share of the possession, we were too strong, with the midfield of Sky, Charlotte, a poorly Molly and Evie passing the ball around, allowing Sam to score and then another 2 for Maysie before half time.

With no subs, we knew that Truro would be tired and we needed to press our advantage home and that is just what we did.  Charlotte “Linekar” scored, Maysie did some more poaching and converted a penalty flick, which was so slow, it would have had more power, if she had left it and allowed the next gust of wind to take it but it somehow it fooled the keeper and went it, which gave Maysie a half trick in both halves.

The defence were immense and dealt with any pressure that came their way - particularly proud of Izzy and Kristina and returning 2s player and badgers captain Emma, for showing such maturity on the ball.  Amber, Jo and Helen stood resolute as Helen didn’t have any calls to take, so could focus on defending.  Final score 8-1

Man of the match:  Emma for putting in a fantastic display and containing the only threat Truro posed.

Contenders:  Izzy for great tackles and passing and Maysie for excelling in poaching once again!

Donkey:  Pleased to report that stacking the voting with family members and her own ineptitude of subbing herself off, leaving 9 players on the pitch - Helen!!

Teas:  8/10 - Amber caressed the anemic sausages slightly with the sight of an oven but Jo brought homemade lemon “drizzle” and “moist” ginger cake, so brought the total up a further 2.

Special thanks to umpires Simmo and Mike for their exceptional work, Madge for running subs (until Helen scuppered her efforts) and the Mens 2s for cheering us on.